My wife and I have been looking to get a meetup going for about a month now, with no success I might add. It leaves me wondering about how things typically go down when meetups are arranged and what we are doing wrong. Face Pics When is the expectation to share? We would prefer to keep our activities in the LS private/discrete--keeping a small footprint by not sending personal information more than absolutely needed. After some discussion and planning with a few couples when face pics are exchanged, we have had them totally bail. I'm guessing they didn't like what they saw. But the same thing happened on our side. We had a potential meetup planned and when we got face pics, my wife pulled the plug because she said the guy looked just like her father. So is it just better to share face pics up front to vet out any problems before too much discussion happens? Is it more like 1) If you want to be in the LS you must own up to it and be willing to share the information including faces otherwise you're in the wrong room. Or 2) It's perfectly reasonable to only send partial face pics until a meetup is planned, and you have to understand that it takes time and rejection until you get a meetup or arrangement going. do most couples in the LS participate openly or clandestinely?

Discussions 

How much discussion is normal before a couple will actually want to meet another couple? My wife and I are more on the DTF side of the spectrum, and it seams like people will really want to chat and get to know you pretty good. I guess it could be they're not sure about us or simply not interested, but then why eve talk with us at all? I guess in my mind it's like 'you like how we look, we like how you look, are you free Saturday night? hotel bar?' Is it more typical that couples look for more then just the physical play? For us it would be ideal to have another couple that we could meet occasionally - every few months - but we're really not interested in going to the movies/birthday parties or emotional connections? Are we weird? It's funny as I have had several couples ask 'what are you looking for?' I think 'well it's a swingers website, do you figure I'm here to play Monopoly?" But as I get more into things, I'm starting to wonder if couples looking for a DTF spouse swap are less common. 

Attractiveness 

Another issue I am wondering about is how physical attractiveness factors in. I rate myself - for whatever that's worth - as not more attractive than average. I lift weights and I am fit - just not as tall as many women like. I think my wife is more attractive that average and also more attractive than me. I think for most couples it's normal for the wife to be a little more attractive than her husband but I also think wealth, status, education, etc. all factors into play here. In other words I believe relationships have an economic balance value in trade -parity - and each partner's physical desirability factors into that balance. Amway, I think the problem is that we ignore potential couples - even though they look fine - but I guess I can onlly comment for the wife.. I think my wife will only give the green light for a man she rates as more attractive than me. But those men also have wives who apply the same rubric to us and we are discarded since I'm not more attractive than their own husbands. So we are in the same position relative to those couples that other potential couples are relative to us. Men are satisfied for the variety while their wives are interested in trading up. I was thinking maybe swinging is more successful among couples were the man is slightly more attractive than his wife. It seems that pictures mean everything. 

Anyway, we would appreciate any insight or course correction. For now we are going to pause as we are obviously doing something wrong until we get a better approach