My fiancée (F52) and I (M49) have been out of the lifestyle for several years due to an HPV infection. Her condition has improved, and we're talking about what re-entering the LS might look like.

Usually with HPV, the body clears the infection on its own, but in some cases it can lay dormant with no symptoms. Since my first wife also had HPV that resulted in precancerous cells on her cervix, it's possible that I'm walking around with a long-term strain that my body has not cleared, and has turned my penis into a stealth cancer wand.

Unfortunately, there is no test for HPV in men, and I have no symptoms that would indicate I'm carrying anything. So while it's possible I'm walking around with a death stick between my legs, it's equally possible that I'm not, and that this infection originated someplace else or is gone.

In a club setting, when is the appropriate time to disclose? Is it wrong to let them "waste time" chatting us up if HPV is a deal-breaker? Do we lead with it? Wear a sign?

Do other couples worry much about HPV? Condoms are not effective in eliminating transmission. "Everybody" has it, or will at some point. We've both gotten the Gardasil vaccine.

We want to be upfront and ethical. Are we setting ourselves up for an avalanche of rejection?