My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for 8-9yrs on and off. We have had alot of wonderful experiences but in recent times she's had a run of outs in which couples we play with, the guy is a bit of a dud in the sack.

We keep meeting couples, great conversation, similar interests and we do all seem to click but when it comes to penetrative sex, they all fail. It's not a ED issue, they seem aroused but they just don't move on from oral.

Meanwhile I am enjoying the wife of the couple and my wife feels an emotional rollercoaster of negativity to herself for not being attractive, to negativity of the other wife in that she is using her husband as bait to get decent sex, but tonight she turned on me and is angry at me for being with the other women when she's not getting her fair share and I wasn't attentive to her.

It's not a one off... it seems to be a very common problem as we are early 50s and our age range of our dates is typical mid 40s to mid 50s.

I'm carrying extra kilos, I am not an Adonis but I do go to efforts to ensure I perform but how do we get guys who can get round the bases for my wife.