Sorry in advance, this is a long post.
I went to a swingers party this weekend at the home of a couple my husband and I have grown to love. usually it's a good mix of about forty people they know and vet well, a mix of singles and couples and different kinks so it's a good time. I'll skip a lot of the details, but I ended up with an attractive man I was interested in playing with solo. He asked me upfront about my rules and I told him specifically you need to wear a condom, and he agreed.

We went at it for quite a while switching positions and what not, but it was so humid, and we were both exhausted, and he hadn't come yet, so we decided to take a breather and come back to it. I had gone outside and jumped in the pool for a bit to cool off then gotten into the hot tub with several other people. A short time later, the guy also got into the hot tub, I ended up on his lap because we were out of seats and we were just kissing and he was fingering me, but he kept switching out his fingers for his penis. I was uncomfortable with this because obviously he didn't have a condom on and I whispered to him, maybe we should go back inside and finish up, he agreed and followed me in.

All was still well he had put another condom on, and we went for round two. i had been on top for a while and he still hadn't come, and he told me why you don't relax for a bit and catch your breath and had me lay down, and he went down on me, then he switched to playing where he was just putting the tip of his penis into me. He asked if that was ok, I thought he meant, was I enjoying that/could he keep doing that, so I told him yes. He did it for a bit longer than got back on top of me and we went at it again only this time he came, and that's when I felt it all going inside me and my eyes went wide.

I sat up and looked over and say his penis was bare, so I pointed at it and said "wait, did you not have a condom on when you just did that? " He says, "oh remember when we were playing and I asked you if that was ok and you said yes", I told him " I didn't know that's what you were doing, I said condoms required!" and I walked outside.

One of the hosts and another close friend were sitting at a table nearby and went to high five me and ask how I was doing and I told them I needed to discuss something right away and reported it all. This was around 3:30 in the am, and this was a sleepover type of party with about 25 of us tenting in the backyard, so while the host took my report seriously, she wanted to wait until the party was over, discuss it with the man as well and the with her husband to decide the best course of action. I went and took a very hot shower and then immediately went to my tent with my husband. I wanted to tell my husband, but I knew if I told him right away there would've been a bad situation and I wanted to prevent that, so I waited until we woke up around seven am.

I asked my husband if we could leave right away so we packed up our things and headed out very early and once we were a few roads away I told him what had happened. It took all my energy to convince him it's not worth it to go back there and react or fight with the man, that I had already reported it, and it would be dealt with. In the meantime, I went to the pharmacy on the way home and got Plan B, and I requested from the host that man's most recent test results, which did get produced and given to me in a message.

The hosts talked to the man and the man told them the only time he went raw in me was in the hot tub. He also made it sound like what happened in the hot tub was my idea, telling them, "The only time I went raw in her was when she was grinding all over me in the hot tub" I told them, that is absolutely not the truth at all and gave my full account of what happened again. I also mentioned how he shouldn't have been going in me raw at all since I told him at the beginning that wasn't allowed.

I haven't heard anything since and I'm worried with this being a he said/she said and that I'm not being believed. I'm also worried because this man has known this group longer than I have that he'll spread word around that I accused him of this, maybe he already has because I definitely feel the tension. We are all part of a Facebook group run by the couple that hosted the party and while it's their group and it's up to them how to handle this situation, I can't lie I'm a little upset that he's still in the group like nothing happened, especially since this couple is very specific about if you break even one rule you're not welcome at their home ever again.

I feel so violated and taken advantage of, and that my husband was disrespected by this. It was a privilege my husband gave this man to enjoy his wife alone and should've been valued better, and this situation will probably now change that lee way we had before. I am trying to just move on from it but I keep getting the image back in my head of seeing no condom and his answer where he was trying to trick me into thinking I allowed it.

I'm sorry for the long read here I am just sort of bumming out today over this and just wanted to vent about it. I'm sorry to anyone else this has happened to before. How did you handle these things going forward? Was your partner more watchful afterwards, were you more stringent? Did you play less?