Broken Trust

Hi Everyone, I’m seeking for advice or even just some place to vent too about something that happened last night.

I F22 & Partner M31 went a second time to a club near us, our first time was amazing, we had lots of fun. The only thing I spoke to my husband with was the lack of communication during our play we spoke after about everything and we agreed to have more communication throughout plays.

A little bit of background how we got into this my husband initially thought he had a cuckhold kink, he enjoyed me going on camera and initially I wasn’t into the idea but the more I did things on cam the more comfortable I felt with the idea of taking things further, about a year later it was mentioned about swingers club we took to fab and we got a lot of interest, we decided to dive into the deep end and we have a very strong marriage so it went very well the first time.

We were very big on communicating boundaries the weeks up until our first club night, although things kept changing and it ended up being quite confusing. It went from this being a thing focused on me being a cuck wife to the potential of couples and women being involved but I listened to everything and agreed boundaries if them scenarios did happen. (Our first night at the club we did play with other women doing soft swap etc)

One of the boundaries that my husband initially had was no kissing (I know this is quite a common one for couples) - I was actually taken back by this as I guess I don’t relate kissing to being passionate etc but he had told me he loves kissing and finds it very passionate so we agreed that was soft boundary a few days later we were discussing boundaries again and he changed his mind and said I could kiss people and at the time I agreed he could too.

Long story short, we were at the club I was completely sober & so was my husband (i feel like this is important to mention) a couple we played with the previous time were there and we were happy to see them as they made us feel comfortable last time we played with them it wasn’t any swapping it was us playing on the same bed with some girl on girl touching. This time we had agreed to soft swap only. It started off very well we swapped and I was giving oral to her partner whilst she gave oral to my husband, I was enjoying this and didn’t feel any bad feelings around it. (No jealousy or anything) until to my surprise she just climbed on top of my husband and started passionately making out with him in which he pulled her in closer, something in me just dropped (I know we had agreed on kissing so I accepted it) but part of me was so taken back by it all I’ve ever seen my husband kiss anyone before especially not like that no even me. It turned me off and I couldn’t cum from the guy who was giving me oral at all. We then swapped again and I started riding my husband and made him cum.

Afterwards we got cleaned up, my husband noticed my shift in mood and asked if I was okay in which I said I would speak to him privately, at this point I wasn’t angry or anything we had agreed something and that happened.

We then had a conversation about what made me feel uncomfortable, I stated clearly that it made my heart drop and made me feel so uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it at all. In which he apologised (I told him he didn’t have to as he didn’t do anything wrong) but I just voiced how it made me feel. I want to say It was very clear that I didn’t want to see that again.

Cut to the end of the night and we go in another room and start playing with just each other my husband says he just wants me so when someone comes over we said no, I was sucking my husband off trying to get him hard after a quick refractory period, then the couple came over and my husband got instantly hard (they weren’t touching at this point) I turned to the girl and said “ I need to ask if he’s okay with this” I turn around and ask in which he says he is, we both start sucking him off other in which he is enjoying it, her partner comes and tries to eat me out in which I knocked him back as my husband still didn’t agree with me being played with and I wanted to respect that boundary as he also tried to do some anal play which is a hard boundary for me and my husband. He stops

And then it happens…

As I’m sucking my husband cock she goes up and kisses him in which I digged my nail into my husbands leg as a signal for him to stop, instead he pulled her in closer and started touching her tits and started making out even more at this point I just stopped touching him. I was absolutely shocked and so hurt that literally less than 10 minutes ago we had the conversation about how uncomfortable it made me. At this point I just took a step back all together. I felt like my husband seen my face and he just continued. It crushed me a lot. Especially as I was still respecting all his boundaries. At this point multiple women and men were touching my husband and I was on the end of the bed not even being touched.

So many feelings.

I then went over to the other bed as my husband was clearly enjoying himself, besides me giving him the death stare. A man came over and tried to join me in which I still went over to my husband and asked if he was okay and he was nodding his head telling me I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. So I went and sucked this guy off, I just couldn’t get myself in the mood at all so I told him I wanted to stop and got the other girl to finish him off.

My husband finished in the girl mouth. And we got ready to leave at this point my husband instantly knew he fucked up. I was literally so shocked as trust wasn’t even a thing I questioned in this at all.

Even the other guy then asked if I was okay as I looked “shell shocked” during the whole thing.

The car journey back was silent, with me sobbing, I felt like I couldn’t even say anything as we both agreed to this lifestyle.

Later he agreed he broke my trust and said that he was just so “caught up in the moment” and was thinking with his dick. Which is baffling to me cause even when I’ve had other men play with me even at that point I was still thinking of my husband at all times.

Am I right to be hurt by this? Or am I overreacting.