This post isn’t for those who’ve been doing this for a while, it’s for the newer people who are still learning to process and handle that shit happens.

No shows are the worst!! You have a chat, you make plans and they don’t show up. Sometimes you’ll get a message with a lame excuse, other times you don’t. This is not on you, this is on them, they have some type of drama going on, so be thankful they didn’t show up and project it on you. How do you avoid no show? You don’t, but if you plan the night around places you enjoy already, you and your spouse can still have a wonderful date night.

Rejection sucks. A lot of times in a group chat, 2 of the people vibe more than the other(s). Plans get made but someone isn’t feeling it and forces a backing out. They’re almost never upfront, and they make a reason to cancel. You offer to reschedule but the offer is denied for one reason or another. How do you avoid rejection? One tip I have is to meet up sooner than later, don’t chat forever, just meet up and see how the vibe is in person. If you give people enough time to chat, they’re bound to say something that someone doesn’t like.

Cancellations, because life happens. Sickness, surprise visits from out of town family, kid stuff, the list goes on and on. The shit going on in our lives is the biggest issue we all have in the LS. But how we handle cancellations determines how our future success is. Too many swingers think a cancellation is a rejection, react poorly and then get rejected for how they reacted. One time my wife and I did have family show up from out of town to surprise us and the relatives around us. They showed up 2 hours before our date, the other couple didn’t believe us, said some uncool stuff, currently rejected. We’ve had deaths of older relatives, and cancelled plenty in advance because we weren’t in the mood for LS fun and we were guilt tripped as if we owed them something… rejected! You can’t avoid cancellations but you can control how you react when it happens.

All of these things are inevitable and they will happen. Just remind yourself that’s it’s all for fun, nobody owes you anything, and being a good person goes a long ways. Don’t let it get to you, go out and enjoy yourselves, y’all’s spouses and you’ll always have plenty of opportunities to enjoy some good fucking.