My wife is basically implying I sexually assaulted a woman because I forgot to ask for verbal consent. We are both new to swinging and are both 25 years old. We had been hanging out with another "couple" (40f 45m) who are not dating but just friends with benefits. The first time we did anything, the woman and I only went as far as a soft swap, but my wife and the guy had actual sex. The next time, we were all laying in bed, and during the soft swap, the woman started rubbing against me(her vagina on my penis from behind) while she and my wife were making out. I admit that I really should have verbally confirmed that it was okay before I penetrated her. It was 100% my mistake. This was our fifth time swinging, and with all the other people we have been with, the females have always initiated with me completely and also there is unsaid expectation that if one party in a relationship willing to have sex the other should be too. I now realize that this case was different because they are not in a long-term relationship. Just cause my wife was having sex with him, it does not mean the girl was okay with having sex with me, as I would have expected if they were married. In my defense, we had talked about being a full swap couple with both of them, and they gave no indication that this would be a one-way thing. The reason my wife was upset is because while I was having sex with her the woman asked my wife if it was okay that we were, and my wife said if had just asked her and the woman then she wouldn't have to wonder if my wife was ok with it. She basically said what I did was very wrong and I need to take time and reflect on it. I agree to an extent. I made a mistake and will get explicit consent in the future. I see why my wife might see this as disrespectful to the other person but I do not think I SA'd someone. The woman said nothing to me or my wife after and she asked us to grab dinner with her the following day and everyone seemed very happy. I am a firm believer in explicit consent and think the alcohol and general mood led me to assume everyone was dtf.
What a crock of shit, OP.
If a woman is rubbing her junk straight up on yours, that is a highly reliable indicator she wants to fuck you. Unless she expressly tells you she doesn't want any penetration, you're golden.
Your wife is taking consent culture to the point of parody, and you shouldn't listen to that nonsense.
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