It seems like there are a lot of kinda standard kinks or acts that such a majority of people of in the lifestyle have that I'm not really into, but not being into them kinda makes meeting normal swinging expectations tricky.

For instance I am neither a voyeur nor exhibitionist. Might sound like not a big deal, but is had an impact on every couple we have hooked up with. We haven't yet been with a couple where the female in the couple didn't identify as an exhibitionist, and I think due to that "you see the world not as it is, but as you are" thing, this makes them all think that i also enjoy being watched and want to perform for an audience. I don't. I tried gently expressing i was shy about being watched to one couple and it started a complete breakdown of our match, which was a massive bummer. I've come to understand this is a big part of the bonding and sharing their husband with another woman, they seem to need to watch it and talk about it as part of the experience, so hell, I'm rolling with it, but it wish I actually liked it instead of finding it to be a bit of a mood wrecker.

What do you think are some other swinging norms that everyone anticipates all parties are going to enjoy, but really aren't your thing?