Are you introverted or just shy?

Most people who say they are introverted are more anxious/neurotic, making them shy.

Introverted people don't want/need to be around others, shy people are uncomfortable with new people.

Shy can be fixed, I used to be shy, sometimes my brain wants to go back to that, but being shy gets in the way of things I want to do so I can overcome it. Introverts just don't want to do it and don't see the appeal.

Shy people are easy to find, they will be huddled close together at a club not talking to anyone, looking slightly uncomfortable.

Introverted people will be not there at all.

geeky types like us?

There is a HUGE number of geek swingers. We met a couple at a club and bonded over a video game we both played 10 years ago (he was the bad team too). We look at profile pictures and often, see the local ren fare as the background. The geek type is a big subset in swinging, one of our geeky friends said she came up to us at a M&G on a trip because we were "geek signaling" with our shirts we wore for the theme.

but finding intimacy and intellectual attraction is so HARD.

And thats normal for anyone who has that standard. I've joked I don't fuck stupid, its not attractive, and I've always been attracted to intelligent women. Its just another thing to add to your list, and each thing you add to your list makes it that much harder to find people.

If you are say looking for a young, both bisexual, geeky, shy couple who you are attracted to, has your same overall values etc. Its going to be harder than a couple who's looking for anything with a heart beat. Playing is easy, finding matches that are perfect is very hard. You'll probably need some flexibility at a level.