I wanted to get the opinion from other like minded folks as I am conflicted.

We have been together approximately 2 yrs. We don’t live together but still spend the majority of nights together until recently. We both have adventurous pasts when it comes to sex. I’ve swung in the past with a former spouse and we also had an open relationship in college while apart. I’ve always been turned on watching and fantasizing about my partner having sex with someone else and also enjoy sloppy seconds. My gf has had a unicorn experience with another couple once and a mfm encounter with her ex husband.

The gf and I met on tinder and within 30 mins of meeting her and only after 30 mins of texting or less, I was balls deep inside her. I fell in love with the great physical chemistry and her sluttyness. I find her so attractive and sexy. We hit it off from day one and stayed together since.

I’ve wanted to have her and I start exploring being more sexually adventurous to include possibly same room no swap to eventually progress to full swapping. She’s hot and cold on the idea. She says she would have an issue seeing me have sex with another woman but she was more inclined to have sex with another male but wanted the other male to be larger than me. I’m above avg and able to give her orgasms but she has had larger dick in the past and she is a bit of a size queen.

The relationship has had its ups and downs but not deal breakers until now.

I recently left the state for a week due to work. I came back to a loving gf. Things seemed fine initially. A fall out occurred between her family and herself. During the aftermath one of her family members disclosed to me that a long time ex of hers had spent approx 5 nights with her while I was away.

I confronted her and she denied it. She at first denied talking or texting him for years. She later admitted to recently having the exbf change out a car battery for her while she was out of town. She refused to let me see her phone but after much persistence showed me some recent texts between them. Nothing sexual but he seemed to have bf intentions in the messages. She had deleted all the previous text messages and only few texts were left. She still denies but I don’t believe her. Her ex is recently divorced so he is now available. He cheated on my gf and gave her an std and married the girl he cheated with.

I’m conflicted due to my kinks and I really get turned on by the thought of her having sex with someone else. But I get really turned off and hate the fact she lied to me and went behind my back. I detest cheating. I feel like she still is emotionally attached to him to have him over for a week and if he had wanted to get back together I would have gotten a dear John letter.

I spent the night with her after confronting her and we had amazing sex again. She says she missed sex with me and needed this. I asked her if her ex was better in bed than me and she said no not even close. We began talking about swinging while having sex and she was getting into it when I talked about watching her with another man.

The next day my texts went unanswered. I called and she acted annoyed to talk and was too tired to see me. I’m still dealing with thought of the cheating and when she pushed back I still felt the presence of her ex. Maybe thats just my own insecurities and became angry. I chose to end the relationship during the conversation since it went south and her attitude towards me.

I drove by her house the past two nights late and she had no visitors. We have been no contact thus far.

Really struggling here to what to do. If I posted this on a vanilla subreddit I would be told she is for the streets and to run but I love the sexual chemistry we have and the potential for more and I love having a slut gf. I just don’t want cheating. Has any one here faced the same dilemma? Have yall found cheating to be a common occurrence during normal relationship down turns? If so how have yall handled it. Accept the good with the bad? I’m thinking to just remain no contact and see what she decides to do.