We are not new to the lifestyle but have come across a situation where I would like to hear people's experience in this.

We met a couple and the male half was far far beyond what I could tolerate, but she is an absolutely stellar human being. They learned quickly that they should play separately so if we see them at an event, my husband has played with her and sometimes I join in with a support role.

We don't want to lose her but she rarely goes to the parties that we go to anymore. When she does, her husband usually ruins the entire mood so I can see why they have made this choice.

We would love to take her out on a date but that kind of leaves me feeling like the third wheel.

Our life is pretty much stellar, we have both been on and off ENM for most of our adult lives so we know what we like and what we don't. We made the decision to do this together and absolutely love it. We aren't eager to start the separate dating thing.

So would it be absolutely out if the question for me to bring a date along? Should we ask if she has anyone that she would like to bring?

I know a guy who is sometimes in the play room with us all at parties who I think would be a complete joy and add wonderful things to the mix at least on a personality level. We have a enough rooms for separate play so that won't be a problem if there isn't a connection.

Has anyone tried this? Does anyone have a solution?