Swinging is something my partner and I want to try. I’m the one who brought it up. I’ve often fantasized about threesomes with my husband and I am openly bi. I’ve been in threesomes before I met him but I was single and not in love. What I’m struggling with is actually going through with the act with my husband. Sometimes I’ll bring my best friend over and we’ll make out and do other things in front of him but I always stop short when it comes to involving him. I can’t seem to get over that hump and I think it stems from a place of insecurity and fear. I love my husband and I think my greatest fear is losing him even though I know he loves me. Bc other than that I would consider myself a very open minded free spirit. I’m not sure why I’m struggling with this. I even bought him a private room at the strip club for his birthday and it didn’t bother me seeing him touch other women. I want to do this with my husband, I want him to experience the things I have and I want to do it with him, but something keeps stopping me.

Any tips to getting over those insecurities? Is it possible? Are they’re baby steps I can take to help me? Am I maybe lying to myself about what I want? I feel very all over the place.