All makes sense. I would say that our main interest in the same room/bed play would be the group dynamic. Can't get that if you are separate, obviously.

The trade off I guess, is limited space with one bed, we've also had a room get way too hot with all that action.

I figured trust and safety would be high up on the list. We feel the same. If and when we decide to include separate room play, it would be in the same place but with people we've been with before.

King sized beds should be the mandatory minimum. Lol.

I think this is exactly where we land right now. Separate beds but the same room would be a lot more comfortable.

I also can sympathize with your husband a bit. With a recent swap, I kind of got distracted with what I was doing because the other male (with my wife's consent, of course) immediately went to pound town. I was taking my time, giving proper foreplay and oral, but suddenly had the thought, "Am I going too slow?" It's funny because it was like 1 minute in.

Haha. Lol'd at the 'not staring' bit.

Whatever works logistically and if the other couple has a strong preference, we tend to go with that.

I sense that this is exactly where we will end up. We aren't super passionate about it either way, so deferring to what they other couple prefers should be just fine.

For us, we've never pushed it, and it's never been pushed with us. Same room just seems the default. And we were/are ok with it.

Our main experiences were MFMs prior to couple swaps. In those scenarios, there is just one focus of attention. Transitioning to 2 main events running concurrently in the same confined space just surprised us with some new challenges or thoughts.

We aren't anti same room. Just surprised we didn't like it fully or completely.

In the future, we'll probably do both or just roll with what the other couple prefers.

I hear you. It's probably one of the hottest things for me, too. The look my wife gave me the first time a man was going down on her as she stared at me, will be forever burned into my mind.

Haha. I'm going to have to see pics to believe that. Just kidding. That's remarkable.

I totally get the shared experience thing. And feel the same way for the most part.

The policing part I quite don't understand. I'm not pushing back on you specifically, as many others have mentioned the same thing. I just don't know how a person can focus intensely on what they are doing with their new partner AND keep an eye out for missteps with the other couple.

So often, when we recount the experience and review the mental highlights, my wife will say, "Did you notice this?" or "Did you hear my partner say...." and I'm like,"No, I completely missed all that." Lol

Such a great list. I love the way you've described the pros of being same room. Especially the reclamation part. Sometimes, I'll see something about a particular act differently than my wife and vice versa.

I think these are really good reasons for people to consider separate room play.

So MFMs must also be a favourite? We like them too.

Agreed. Many have spoken as to the pros of being same room. What are the biggest advantages for you of being separate room?

Funny thing is that to me wearing a butt plug means that you’re open to anal .

Oh oh. Sounds like you are speaking from experience?

The bi dynamic is a no-brainer to all be in the same room. Thanks.