I'm very new to swinging, I'm very new to realizing how attractive I am to men. My husband and I have been interested in inviting another man into bed with us. One reason is that he's bi and I want him to be able to experiment with other men because we've been with one another since high school. Anyway, my problem is that most men we've talked with are married and don't mind stepping out on their partner, which I'm not okay with. One guy kept it a secret even after we did stuff then got mad I was snooping and found out. Other guys just straight tell me that if I asked, they'd be there. Being someone whose really just started to get comfortable with my body and sexualilty, it makes me feel powerful but also kinda guilty. I'd never do that to another woman but there's so much temptation. I hate that all I seem to attract are taken men but I also don't know how normal that is? Is it normal for most guys to be willing to cheat like that? All I wanna feel is flattered and confident but it also makes me feel so guilty when we haven't even done anything. I want to feel sexy and wanted but I don't know how to put myself out there and trust that I'm not potentially ruining another womans relationship. How do I find honest men to play with? And how do I stop feeling guilty for the desires of others??
When looking for men there are good ones out there but the odds of finding them are slim. We have similar issues and have given up on talking with single men due to most of them not being honest about being married. Those that are single are obviously single for a reason and can’t seem to grasp the concept of boundaries. Either way, take your time and know that it’s okay to be picky. It saves drama and headaches down the road.
I think its the trust part for me too. Now that I have been deceived, am I going to be able to believe them? I appreciate honestly, even when it hurts. But now I'm thinking even when men say they are in an open relationship, should I believe them? It's gotten a lot more ethical then I anticipated lol
What does ENM stand for?
I think you're asking for future drama. There are guys out there that have hall passes or play separately and their partner is aware. I'd suggest sticking to those even if that means sacrificing the thrill of attracting someone "forbidden"
Honesty is and respect for our boundaries. Most that we have met, lied about their relationship status. For those that get past that point, they usually won’t respect boundaries. We play as a group but they try to push me out or just flat out try to get my wife to meet them alone. We’re not asking for much, but those are top two on the list.
I understand what you're saying. And I think that rejection makes men want to lie about it because they don't want anything more then sex. I just know I'd be devastated if I found my spouse doing that, but some men can't seem to be comfortable sharing honestly with their spouse, which is very sad to be also.
There plenty of single bi guys out there. I am one of them. Just keep your Moreland be patient. They will come.
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We've talked about that and think we are gonna try it. It seems promising