And yeah, I wrote the story of the entire night, blow by blow (pun fully intended) but realized you guys didn't need to know all that for me to get to my point. So I deleted everything except the first paragraph and started over, telling myself I'd delete the first sentence if it didn't end up very long and then I just forgot lol 🤷🏽‍♂️

All of this helps. Thanks so much!

Thanks. This really helps. When we were soft swap only, we weren't really all that choosy. Don't get me wrong, we had standards, but this person probably would have made the cut. Now that we're full, we want to be more selective. Knowing that rejection is just a part of swinging makes me feel a little better about saying no next time.

What an obvious, yet effective answer. It didn't even occur to me. We've had so much fun at the couple of other parties we went to that I didn't really think to just stick to the clubs, dates, large parties, or like you said, gatherings where we know everyone. Thanks!

Awesome. Thanks so much!

What an obvious, yet effective answer. It didn't even occur to me. We've had so much fun at the couple of other parties we went to that I didn't really think to just stick to the clubs, dates, large parties, or like you said, gatherings where we know everyone. Thanks!

Awkward for me and my wife the next day, not necessarily for the lady that night. I mean, she got hers (twice!) with me, so I think she was happy lol. She'd been playing all night. I get your point but for me it was almost the opposite. Everyone had been playing with everyone and of those that were still there (our friends had to leave early) she was the last one I hadn't played with. I almost felt like I was specifically rejecting only her.

Any good suggestions on what to say?

Haha, I know, I know, but this isn't the sub for that. I try to play by the rules. Maybe I'll post in another sub. I'll let you know if I do!

The "need a break/some time" reply seems popular here and is something I can easily employ. Thanks!

Thanks!

Awkward for me and my wife the next day, not necessarily for the lady that night. I mean, she got hers (twice!) with me, so I think she was happy lol. She'd been playing all night. I get your point but for me it was almost the opposite. Everyone had been playing with everyone and of those that were still there (our friends had to leave early) she was the last one I hadn't played with. I almost felt like I was specifically rejecting only her.

How funny, I made the exact same analogy about the restaurants when she asked me why I went ahead with it when I wasn't really attracted to her.

Update to the story, turns out her uncomfortableness wasn't really about the lady's looks. I didn't know that when I made the restaurant analogy. We're now exploring how we want to define our boundaries again, but all of this advice is still super helpful for when we do have to say no.

Thanks!

I appreciate the insight. Thanks!

If we knew it was a great time sure. We've been in enough awkward situations we'd rather avoid them.

I appreciate the advice and I agree with your opinion. Truth is it wasn't just her looks, but the point of the post was asking how to politely reject someone and I didn't want a bunch of unnecessary details. I'm happy to give others a shot even if I'm not super attracted to them.

If I post it somewhere, I'll definitely let you guys know lol

Thanks. I edited some details out that pertain to your point. It wasn't necessarily all about her looks so it wasn't just that I "just didn't want to". I agree though, giving it a shot can definitely sometimes payoff.

Excellent question. Extremely relevant in the long version, but not at all in the edited version. Something that got accidentally left behind (just like me apologizing for it being a long story) lol

Another person suggested avoiding parties of this size, or at least avoiding the unless you know everyone. I think that's great advice. No shame on those that don't care, but we're also trying to keep that body count down (especially for health reasons) and sticking with people you know is an easy way to do that. I 100% agree with your overall point - live and learn!

No penis in vagina

The good news is I did finish up with my partner and it was so good 🥰 The party had scaled down and we had a bit of an audience and they actually complimented us afterwards about how hot we were lol.

I've seen the "take a break" reply a lot here and it sounds like that's an easy one to try to use.

I hear you guys and I agree. I'm hoping I'll get a little better at using these polite rejections. Thanks!

Outstanding answer. Love it. Thanks!