So best way to start this whole story is from the beginning. My wife letās call her April and her best friend letās call her May. Have been friends for almost 15 years now. They grew up together and are very close in life. In high school I met April and we started dating and May met her husband letās call him Max in high school as well. We all became friends over the years. We got closer and closer, we all stood up in our weddings and just grown a close relationship with all of us. Now letās flash forward to about 8 months ago, one night of drinking and partying clothes began to come off things were shown but nothing too crazy. Then 2 months after that. Us four had an experience in bed where we were all touching. Clothes on so nothing insane there yet. But last week was the biggest moment yet. After a day of drinking and partying. April and May started to make out and started to grind on each other. Me and max each went to our girl and was watching them. We end up getting naked, doing a lot of touching and eating out our wives. No swapping just touching and watching the girls play. Sadly me and max couldnāt perform due to the amount of alcohol we had. But it was the closest to having a foursome yet. Me and my wife have talked about this whole situation from the start. We are down for this, we both talked about having a threesome itās something we want before having a family. But we discussed how doing this would be easier and safer. The thing is, the next day or anytime after, we never discuss what we did. We all act like nothing happened. My wife said thatās for the best, making it seem normal. So it sucks not having anyone to talk to about this. Me and my wife do talk about it, but sheās in the same boat as me. We donāt know how they feel and we donāt know how to handle the situation. I will say we are down for this. We both donāt feel/ need the attention from them, itās just a fun and sexy thing to do. I just donāt know how to feel. Like yes itās amazing that this is happening, but I always have this feeling that it might ruin our friendship. I truly need advice, if anyone had an experience like this or can help me deal with this I strongly would love that help.
Back in college, I and plenty of my friends had partners they were ājust talkingā with. Looking back now I realize how ironic that title was because it meant āweāre screwing but NOT talking about what we are to each other or what this means because we are scared to complicate it.ā Those relationships tended to turn south if they never made the effort to ensure they were on the same page as their partner.
Itās a pretty standard response when we do something that seemed very right in the heat of the moment and fueled by liquid courage, to become uncomfortable with that activity when we cool off and sober off.
The conversation maybe uncomfortable while sober and fully clothed, and itās reasonable to want to ānot make it weird,ā but this isnāt a one-off. You described multiple sex-charged evenings with these friends. If they were against the idea of a sexual aspect to your friendship it seems unlikely they would continue get together in private, intimate settings and continue to participate.
Talking to them about what they would like to explore and what limits they might want could very much strengthen your friendship.
I realize it feels safe and unique because you know them and have been in a situation with them you haven't experienced with others, but trust me... it's not unique.
It is much easier than you think to find another willing couple for sexual experimentation if you're looking in the right place. Moreover, that couple would not have life long friendships to attached to it if things went south and unexpected emotions come up.
I wouldn't push this one farther--just make an LS profile somewhere and do the safe thing.
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