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Dear /r/swingers I never thought it would happen to me...
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So we're at a event. Both nude in the pool. My wife goes to get a drink, and a guy taps me on the shoulder and says ā€congratulations she's way hotter than you are "

Obviously a rude statement but I speak drunk I was better looking than he was so no offense was taken. I simply agreed as her breasts are a lot better than mine

But this got me thinking pre swinging, this was not an insult but a compliment that you'd give another guy.

And it's food for thought. What is often complained about here is a sign of success in the normal world.

Comments

First of all, thumbs up on the way you handled that situation. Specially acknowledging that her boobs are better than yours LOL.

Youā€™re right, things that are set in a vanilla setting as a compliment and a vanilla setting can be taken as a jab in the lifestyle. I think it can be because in the lifestyle we are supposed to bring each other up.. there is a level of respect in the way you talk and treat people. The easiest way to lose any chance with my wife is by saying or doing anything to put me down. You can tell me how my wife is without telling me that sheā€™s too hot for me..

There is a reason why most people keep their vanilla life completely separate from there pineapple lifestyle

Lol about her boobs being better than yoursšŸ¤£šŸ¤£

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Perhaps I wasn't clear enough but I was more amused than offended.

That is thought provoking.

I didnā€™t initially think of it as an insult. I like to lift in my ā€œI workout because my wife is hotā€ shirt and often say I attend lifestyle events as my wifeā€™s 1.

Iā€™ve received some very flattering compliments at lifestyle events and been aggressively objectified which was wonderful; Yet I still assume everyone in the room, male and female is more interested in looking at her. Iā€™ve had the ā€œyouā€™re a lucky guyā€ w/o the comparison and I said ā€œright? And I donā€™t even make much money!ā€

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LOL....same.

Also just wanted to add that we've found that SLS www.swinglifestyle.com is way better than SDC. The interface is a little "clunkier" but none of the spam and events and podcasts and crap that fills your feed and inbox on SDC.

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Many women will happily comodify themselves with no input from monogamous culture.

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Why do you assume they are? Your assumption is we are blank slates, this generally isn't the case.

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But my wife is objectively hotter. I have to skirt by on average facial aesthetics and charm. Getting into a fight at at an event over something like that would if anything scream insecurity.

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I'm not worried enough about a guys opinion of my hotness to get confrontational. I took it as a bit of envy his part.

I mean i definitely wouldnā€™t want to be married to someone uglier than meā€¦.

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6 months ago