So she asked me several years ag to open our marriage and we agreed and since she's had several on line flings. She wants to experience things in real life but she gets so bad anxiety about it she shuts down and is scared. I've talked to her about going to clubs and she wants to but then when I start to plan it she gets so anxious she will just shut down every time. How do I support her past that??
Definitely not uncommon. Clubs are generally no pressure environments, so it's OK to go in with the plan to simply to "take it all in" or agree that if it feels right, that you'll find a safe spot to play together. It's good to take a first step because it at least sets a baseline of if it's worth exploring further or a nonstarter, vs. being a complete unknown. How you feel about it discussing it will be far different than you feel about it when you're exposed to the world in reality.
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