We have been slowly exploring swinging as a sexual fantasy in our relationship (long term couple here). We've been to one play party where we only played with each other and are trying to decide what each of us wants if/when things continue.

M has way more "spontaneous" desire (he would have sex multiple times a day) where F is much more "reactive" (could go a month before having a real desire on her own). We have a great relationship, and great sex when we have it, but we've always had to work on finding solutions for this discrepancy.

When aroused, we both get into the fantasy of group play, other partners, etc. But outside of thosw times, she doesn't have a ton of interest in exploring. Not because it turns her away, it just doesn't seem super appealing most of the time. But sex doesn't seem super appealing most of the time.

So the question is, has swinging actually helped to solve this desire discrepancy for any couples? (by creating more sexual context for the relationship, opening new sexual energy, etc.)

Or has it made it worse for some of you? (Where one partner wants to participate way more often than the other, and now this takes it to a whole new level)

We're in couples therapy/ sex therapy to talk through this stuff as we explore more, but curious to know what the community here has to say about this!