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Hey guys!
My wife and I are trying to get into the lifestyle and we’ve met a few couples online from dating apps, SDC, etc, but there is a persistent problem…
My wife is like a 10/10, absolutely gorgeous and bisexual. I’m definitely not nearly as attractive as her. There are pics on my profile to check out.
Every time we meet a couple, they are much more interested in my wife. To the point where many couples dm her behind my back to play alone.
I don’t think I’m necessarily unattractive, I’m kinda just a normal dude. I’m 6’4, 230 lbs, a little chubby, with 8 inches lol if that matters.
My question is… in a situation like this… how do I go about finding couples that are into both of us rather than just her?
Thanks :)
My wife could hook up daily if she wanted and we have had many MFM, and only one or two swaps. If I’m solo I normally pull women in their 20’s (once a year) but when it comes to couples our age (40’s) I get the feeling that the wife of the other couple thinks she is jumping on the frag.
We haven't experienced it quite this extreme where they're texting her in a separate chat (maybe it's because we let it be known early that we don't play separate) but we definitely find that everyone is more interested in her. She "plays the part" and makes sure the other guy always feels included on the action and like she's hot for him (regardless of how hot she actually finds him) but I find she's the exception. Most other girls are totally into my girl and act like they're "letting" me play along. Talking to other friends in the LS, it's really tough to find that genuine 4 way attraction.
And I think you and your wife are both attractive. I don't think that's it. For us, we got into this so she could play with other girls, so I never bothered to show real interest in another girl because it didn't matter and that would only have the potential of coming off creepy. Now that we're more comfortable playing with the opposite sex, I've never really shook that standoff-ish approach and I wonder if that's part of it. Maybe you're too much of the "nice guy"?
We’re brand new to the LS (less than a year) but we’ve definitely gotten the sense that women are far more popular than men.
Right now, based on our admittedly limited experience, we feel more comfortable meeting people at clubs than online. Pictures can be deceiving in either direction—like they look good online, but in person not as much, or in person they’re a smoke show but their pics online don’t do them justice).
So, if you can, go out to LS clubs, parties, takeovers, etc.
We'd bang both of you. I imagine you just need to keep looking for the right couple. There will also be some unicorn hunters who might try to poach your wife, that's life.
Women are just going to get more attention, don't take it personally.
I am in ridiculously good shape, working on an 8 pack, and attractive. Still doesn't matter a flying fuck compared to womens' magic lady bits.
Wife poachers are just a fact of the swinging life.
I think when you get exposed to it many times you develop a good sense of it. Dismissing people displaying wife poachers tendencies is second only to dismissing single men.
Wife poachers are really just sad and pathetic people who have to manipulate people to get their kink satiated because what they are isn't attractive enough to get what they want.
Don't let their pathetic games get to you, Best of luck!
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SAME! I can be a little freaky in the sheets if I know it's what a girl wants, but I'm still worried about my wife thinking I'm too into the other girl. Outside of the bedroom it still feels weird to me to blatantly hit on or flirt with another girl right in front of my wife/her husband. I think it's a little like dating, but even harder. You have to really put yourself out there a lot until you find the right person, but in this instance all 4 people have to agree that there's chemistry. Guys like you and I just have to find the girls that appreciate the nice guy approach.