I have been married to my husband for 14 years now. We got married in an Asian country where we are from. My husband came to the US, and did not show himself as "married." After coming here, he married a woman who helped him with his green card. They now have a child together. She knew about me and was very helpful in bringing me to the US. When I got here, we were obviously with the same man and it has been like that since.

They were swingers in my absence and she has shared him with other women and he has shared her with other men. They also have their videos of those moments. But she stopped swinging after the baby and never went back to it. She says she has to manage a life around her son and this is not something she can do but I should probably go to swingers clubs with him and see if it is my thing?

I discussed it with my husband and he said "No you cant!" I felt that it was unfair that they both can have their moments but I be denied the same thing. My husband says that his relationship with her is different and with me it is different. I do not understand why the restriction is on me and not her? Maybe he felt secure with her and not me??

I think we are both beautiful in our own ways so why should sharing me make him insecure? Would also like to ask folks here what would be a good way convince him to do something he has already done with the other wife?

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