Our first time posting here, so please bear with us. We have been interested in pursuing the lifestyle for quite some time now. We have talked about it in depth, know our pros and cons, have our boundaries set and all that other good stuff. We have attended swingers clubs (only played with each other) and enjoyed them. We are ready to be more involved.

Here’s our predicament. We know what we want and aren’t willing to settle. We have posted a few times here on Reddit looking for a third with no luck. We are also on a website with similar results. It seems that mostly everyone we talk to there is either no attraction, cant seem to hold a conversation, flakes when time to meet or wants to jump into bed immediately without getting through 3 sentences. None of which works for us.

We obviously aren’t looking for a full blown relationship here. We also don’t want to chat for 3 months without meeting up. We would like a happy medium. Someone who is attractive, can hold a conversation, has availability, and is respectful.

I guess my question is are we crazy for wanting that? Or are we setting the bar too high?

We are curious to see how some of you started in the lifestyle. Did you find who you were looking for right away? Did you search and search for what seems like forever? Or did you attend a club or event and jump head first into it to get your first experience out of the way and get the ball rolling?

We appreciate any feedback on your experiences.