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Rules for new swingers
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Hi everyone my wife and I have just started this and being to a sex club twice. I want to make sure we can communicate rules without been controlling. We have had a FMF at the club with a friend and our planning a MFM this weekend.

We are thinking of these three rules to keep it open and not controlling.

  1. Always play together in the same room
  2. Only communicate together
  3. Don’t take one for the team 4.Ask STI status - test regularly

With the idea of not being too rule bound is there anything you would add to the list?

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That’s our rules to the letter. That and compartmentalize the lifestyle. We keep our swing life and vanilla life very seperate.

Finally have a code word to get out of a situation. “Walk me to the bathroom” shuts it all down for us.

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Don't drink

For SO MANY reasons....THIS.

I had heard the little to no drinking on play dates mentioned and thought it was not a big deal. Specially with the other huge things you need to think about and set rules/ boundaries for. Wife and I are very new to this and had a play date this weekend. Everything went great but we still have a “soft swap” boundary in place. The alcohol get my wife to a point where she was saying that the other husband should fuck her. The coupe we were with are a full swap couple with years of experience. I would have been ok if he fucked my wife but her very respectfully shot it down and instead licked her pussy. The next morning my wife told me she was so happy she didn’t fuck him because she would be regretting it.

I think we will definitely get there but she was not ready and the drinks clouded her judgement

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We’re very content just us and our relationships. The LS is a bonus for sure

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Older couples are adamant that having sex with your friends will only lead to ruined friendships and drama. Only you can determine what is best for you. The key is constant communication, between you and your partner as well as between you and those you have sex with. Don't let someone else ruin your experience by forcing their "rules" on you.

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8 months ago