In my previous post, I shared my wife and I first experience playing with another couple. Long story short, I feel completely left out and walked away, uncertain about my feelings with that experience. After receiving a few comments, I realized that the biggest issue was we have not communicated clearly what the expectations or boundaries were.

Well, last night, we went out to dinner with the same couple. Started off with some wine tasting and right away conversation started getting interesting. Spoke about their experiences in the lifestyle as they have been in it for 12 years!! There so so much to learn from just listening to them talk about their journey. After the tasting we sat for dinner and conversation continued but now we were being more direct and to the point. Before I could bring up how I felt after the first time we played with them the other wife asked us how we felt. My wife answered “I felt good, a lot of feelings but good overall. I considered just saying I was good but then I thought, can’t say that and fall right into the same thing. I answered, I was good but there was a lot to unpack. She smiled at me and said well I wanted to take a moment and say sorry to me if she made me feel bad because she didn’t play with me. That it was not because she didn’t want to but because she didn’t want to do something my wife was not ready for. It was more about thinking of my wife’s feeling than mine. I understand that and appreciate that she was that thoughtful. Plus knowing this made me feel better about being with them. That night after dinner we went to another LS club and since all the rules, boundaries, and expectations had been clarified before hand it was such a different type of night. There was no full swap since my wife is not sure that’s what she wants but definitely a lot more interaction between the four of us. Started by dancing with each others partner and letting things go from there.

Next thing for me to keep in mind when we play with them again or anyone else, don’t over drink!!