Alright this may be kind if long, if it is I apologize, but there is a lot to this.

So some preliminary and necessary information...

My wife and I are not living the lifestyle. In fact, we are ALMOST about as vanilla as it gets, and while her stance on the LS was never one of judgment for those that do partake she definitely made it clear she was very firmly against it as something she would ever want to try. I was ok with it because honestly I dont share well with others, and agreed, and I don't really think it is for me. That said, I would say we are both still very sex positive people, we live by a code of "As long as everyone is a consenting adult do you booboo!" Anyway, we have been together for 15 years, married for 10, and for that entire time she has been vehemently against, as she put it, "sharing" for us specifically, and again, I was and still am okay with it.

Fast forward to about a month ago. She completely out of the blue asks me if I ever thought about adding someone for a threesome (or group) or if it was something I was even REMOTELY interested in trying. The WAY she asked it made it seem like a throwaway question that was purely hypothetical and I told her, "Well I'll admit it's something I have fantasized about but it's not something I ever considered trying in real life. There would just be too much emotion tied into it, I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out, I would be worried what any unintended or unexpected lasting emotional effects on both of us (but mostly her) would be, I would worry it would put us in a situation where something broke emotionally and we couldn't recover from it. Etc. Etc." I also brought up how awkward the post coitus situation would be... at least for me (I'm very much a strong silent type, and I'm not much for small talk). Anyway I think I did a good job of conveying that it was a fantasy I have had but not something I ever expected, or even WANTED to actually try in real life. Then I asked her the same question and she responded that she also had threesome/group fantasies but the "men" in her fantasies were all just copies of me. I DEFINITLY got the sense that she was just saying that to not hurt my feelings which is weird because I EXPECT her to fantasize about other dudes, that's the whole POINT of fantasy, it can be whatever or whoever you want. She knows I'm not intimidated by other men trying to hit on her or anything, so I'm not sure why she would think I would be concerned about a fantasy. Anyway, somehow the conversation turned into her talking in circles about how women don't do it for her so an FFM threesome wouldn't be her idea of fun. Given that we were kind of just talking, I didn't think much of it but now all of a sudden she wants to go on a swingers cruise. She is STILL saying she has no interested in adding any partners.

All I can think is, "Why would we go on a cruise SPECIFICALLY for swingers with zero intention of participating in the said swinging? At that point why not just go on a regular no kids allowed cruise? It just doesn't math for me. Does this make sense to anyone who IS in the lifestyle? Also, to be clear, I am willing to give one of those cruises a go but I wouldn't want to make anyone on the cruise feel weird about why we were there given we woulsnt be participating, you know? Idk maybe I'm over thinking it but the whole thing seems generally just... off? And potentially disrespectful or uncomfortable for the swingers on the cruise who are there to... you know... SWING?

What are your thoughts? Thanks for hanging in there and taking the time to read my post.