The amount of men who threw themselves at her was staggering. She translated this into her being super hot instead of men being men.

Idk, hindsight has definitely dimmed her in my views. There was a time where I thought she was amazing!

Thank you so much. I had to learn the hard way, and I did

She never understood this and I’m sure still doesnt

I would argue that swinging didn’t cause our divorce. A poor relationship was exacerbated by swinging

Thank you, it’s been a journey but through therapy all things are possible

She isn’t from what I know aware that she has an issue or at least won’t admit it (we’ve been no contact since September). I realized how I was destroying my self and self worth by catering to her antics. Much stronger and better now even though the lesson was tough!

She just thought because men hit her up, she was a 10.

To me she was a 10 because I loved her, not so much anymore

I say that now as a joke. I want to be healthy and honestly I’ve been super into golf now so enjoying that

I think it ended the best way for every one honestly. We both got what we deserved in the end lol

I’m on a journey to scratch! Currently a 9 handicap after not playing for 15 years lol

I would totally agree!

I never want to trash her or anything, karma will do that enough for me 1000x over.

She is pretty and very bubbly but definitely didn’t have the right to tear me down in public like she did nor say the things she said to me in private about my weight when hers was and still is out of control.

Very true!

You’re totally fine lol, she was short. When you actually love someone you see past imperfections, she loved herself more than others

Thank you! I only had high blood pressure (hypertension) and after 4 months off meds I’m back on a tiny amount (work stress).

I see a therapist weekly, have a concierge doc, and my surgeon every 90 days.

I did the duodenal switch and so honestly the hardest part for me has been the protein! Still trying to hit my goals there lol

Thanks so much for your support! It’s been a trip learning my self-worth, and how to demand that respect in a healthy way.

5’2” so not very tall at all

Ooooh, a math guy! That's hot!

Thanks! It’s been a ride and we’re almost done lol mediation and then it should all be final

Chin(s)?

Lmao - sorry had to self burn 🤪

Idk, I doubt it. If I was in a healthy relationship and respected and loved I wouldn’t have a problem returning. Right now I’m just focused on finding that, continuing to work on myself, and getting better at golf lol

And where does one find single ladies in the LS? I thought they were called unicorns for a reason, lol.

No I wouldn’t be opposed but also not seeking it out, while the LS definitely didn’t cause my divorce I never was like extremely excited to be playing. I guess I’m happy either way - monogamous or ENM, what matters to me most is who I got to sleep next to and who I wake up next to.

Oh and that they are honest with their words, actions, and intentions.

Lol, maybe one day I’ll return. I feel like the temptation is hard to trust at this point. I mean if someone committed to me and after proving we had a stable relationship we opened it up I’d be ok doing it again. That’s rare enough plus add someone who is ok sharing their partner?

I mean any single ladies hit me up lol but I’ll stick to finding a better me, a healthier me, and a happier me first.

Almost! I’m on that Ethan Suplee come up 😎

For those of you who don’t know who that is, he is the actor from “Remember the Titans” or “My Name is Earl” - big dude and he is now a beast!

The long and short of it was her title - she felt like she was a superstar and I was a lead balloon. Wanted advice on how to approach me about my weight.

What she then did was the opposite of all the advice she got (which was to stop swinging and just focus on us and our health). She instead attacked me about my weight.

I made a response post and thanked everyone for their comments and committed to changing my health. She felt I invalidated her feelings and the point of her post by responding to comments (mainly revealing that she too was overweight).

Long long long story short - she continued to exhibit not nice actions and ended up with me telling her we were done.

I’ve been walking and now golfing daily! I walk 4-6 miles a day now plus the surgery has it coming off quickly. Surgeon says I’ll be @ goal around August ‘24 (goal weight is 240 lbs)

I will 100% do the gym once I’m closer to goal. As of right now I still get to many looks to be comfortable

To long didn’t read :)

I tried to explain it in the nicest way that they just wanted a place to put it but she swears that’s me being abusive.

Either way I learned to hold boundaries and go after what I want from all this. I hope you have success and I’m so happy your Sir supports you! You deserve it!

I so get the struggle and am rooting for you! I’m so glad you have a supporter instead of fighting everyone AND your partner

Lol thank you! I still want better for me so we’re gonna keep push to go from Morbidly Obese to just Obese and then just Fat and then Normal!

Lol, not familiar with that podcast but the subversion as you call it wasn’t intentional

Lol thanks man, so far I’ve been able to just kinda sit back and watch the fireworks of her implosion. I haven’t needed or really wanted to take any direct action beyond the divorce.

She didn’t work so yes she did, and spent all her time on Facebook, Snapchat, and other social media apps

5’2”

I’m very competitive so golfing has been a godsend and The Conqueror Challenge. I walk to get medals (yes you have to buy them) but the goal and tracking and time frame scratches that itch. My first one was the Amazon rainforest and was 100 miles walked :)

She did after my follow up post originally and made me delete my post because I “invalidated her point and feelings by sharing the clothing size she wore”.

I might do one in the future but for now I think I’m not planning anything - maybe one day when I get remarried :)

Love it, thank you and big ups on losing 40! That’s huge!

Oh ok, I was like wtf is wrong with my phone!

I was told last night and have been responding there - I think I just got banned because I can’t comment on my BORU anymore lol.

Thank you though!

Amongst many other things

Oh and he’s a good 325-350 lbs…

I have been in therapy since Feb of last year and working to find my self worth. She did some other truly terrible shit that really made the switch flip.

I still won’t speak ill of her other than to say I’m much happier without her than I was with her and that karma has already landed and taking its toll.

Thanks for the support, yeah I believe in that old time love and so was trying everything I could to make it work. Much better off now!

Yes

The funny thing about your comment is while you are absolutely right, I don’t attract swipes on tinder or 3fun, when someone gives me a chance it’s typically over.

My lack of physical attractiveness made me focus on building a wonderful personality and to find grace and give grace for everyone around me.

Swinging isn’t dating, which will be the next comment, and again I agree. My swinging partners were all well satisfied (or so I’m told, maybe they lied?). My X was and is an extremely non-monogamous person and doesn’t care who she hurts along the way.

So to your point, yeah I realized that, but I gave it my all to try and appease her and find a way to move my relationship forward. Now that the relationship has ended, I actually do really well in the dating world.

I won’t be joining this community again as a participant but love the community, the people I met through it, and 100% think it is possible to swing and not end in divorce.

She deleted hers and then made me delete my response. If anyone knows how to recover my own post I’m happy to do so

5’2”

I am praying! I’m 6” on a good day so another inch or two would be amazing!