Recently my wife and I went to a large swingers party involving about 25 couples. There was lots of dancing, music, socializing, oral and of course, swinging. Everyone was so nice and respectful. We got approached many times. We always politely declined playing with them and things continued to be good with them. We made lots of friends.

We fucked adjacent with them. We had reserved a room at the event, turned on the lights, kept the door open and garnered quite the crowd. We felt like porn stars because as I fucked my wife we’d hear, “Holy fuck” “Hot damn” “Wow, this is hot as hell.”

The thing is, we don’t play with others. Ever. Not even oral.

We love the idea of it, we love to fantasize about it but we don’t want to cross that line. Don’t judge us! lol. It’s just our boundary.

You might say we’re living vicariously through the community. Lifestyle adjacent.

I guess my question is, is there a problem with this?

We’re always straight with people. We never lead anyone on. We tell them we’re okay with side by side and with being watched but we don’t swop. They’ve always respected our rule, and often stay to watch.

A few couples, we’ve gotten the sense that - after hearing our rule - have taken it as a challenge to convert us. Which is fun. lol. But no one has ever gotten upset with us.

But I’m wondering how long this can last? Is there a problem with being “among them” without actually being “one of them”? (If that makes sense.)

Would you have a problem if there was a couple always showing up at your Swingers events who never actually swung?