I've tagged this as single female discussion because it seems the most like it fits, but here's more of my situation.

I'm 40 and my wife and I have been married for almost 16 years. She transitioned after we got married and had a kid. I still love her very much and we still have a very strong marriage, but the sex was lacking plus we both have a sexual preference for men (just not solely) so we decided to give swinging a try.

We're lucky to live only about an hour away from an LS club where you can play on site. We played together initially, but quickly discovered that we like very different things in men so now I mostly attend on my own while she has found a boyfriend on the side. I briefly had a boyfriend myself, but that ended because he just wasn't the person I thought he was.

I really like getting to have my wife hype me up on my way out the door to go to the club and to have her to come back to, but I also love getting as much dick as possible while I'm away.

That said, it's an LS club and so many people there are couples who want to play as couples. There are some that I've had some fun with and a few women I've gone for more than their husbands, but ultimately I find that I usually just get my tits out and wait for men to come to me because I'm a little socially anxious and an introvert. Is there a better way of doing things? I will say that I'm a little picky. I need men who can measure up if you catch my drift and make it clear what I'm looking for because I know what I need to go off like a rocket.

This is all over the place because it's really late, but I hope someone else in a similar position of consensual non-monogamy has suggestions for how to make this mess awkward.