Have been a follower for a while, first post. I am looking for perspective and perhaps advice from those that have experienced something similar. Background, we have been together for 30 years. She was in a previous marriage that was a cuckold type situation where she had a lot of experiences. We started after that marriage ended, dated and then we married and lived monogamously for 10 years. We went to Hedo 20 years ago and started slowly, nude, then voyeur, then exhibishionist,soft swap and in the last year, full swap. We have established our boundaries, and please do not judge as this is where we both felt comfortable with: Play as a couple, same room, no secrets, affection with others only during playtime. Affection defined as, open mouth deep kissing, cuddling etc. During play we have no boundaries. We are trying to keep the lifestyle from turning us into an open marriage. Current dilemma, we just met some friends from that are in the lifestyle in a bar downtown, I went to the restroom and returned to find her in a heavy embrace, deep kissing make out session in the corner. We talked about how this violated our boundaries. Her position is that she doesn’t want firm boundaries and that I need to tell her if I am not ok with something and she will stop. I am struggling with this as it is always going to be after the fact. Unsure if there is trust anymore, what if I am not there??? It probably wasn’t that big of a deal, but she violated boundaries as we were not in a play situation???