TL/DR - wife of other couple was racked by poor self esteem due to historical bad experience but in hindsight we now know why...

Me (M51) and my wife (F51) met a couple in their 40s (lets call them Brent and Mary) pre Xmas for a dinner and drink and get to know each other. Evening went well and we agreed we would do it again but with a hotel room as well.

Xmas hits, holidays etc and we met again last night. I didn't think too much of it (4wks) but it was clear they were on edge and worried we would ghost them but we don't do that, it was just a decent gap because of the time of year.

We meet at a lovely venue and it's busy without being packed and we sit down and start ordering drinks and food.

Mary apologises and says she needs the rest room and asks my wife to join her. No big deal and the guy and I chat normally.

When the ladies return my wife's eyes are rolling and giving me the "geezus" look and it turns out that due to nerves Mary has had one too many edibles and she's now just wanting to go to sleep. She also starts to say the venue is too loud and she sits on her one drink and doesn't want any more alcohol either.

My wife continues to eye roll and basically it's now turned into the "can we eat and go asap because she's stoned and can't cope with the noise ".

We do and as we leave the restaurant, we say let's do this another time but they're insistent that let's find a quiet bar and keep the evening going.

We find a bar in the hotel where the room is booked and we have another round but Mary just wants a coffee.

They then tell us a story how they played with another couple over Xmas and that after the play date (which was seemingly fine) that the other couple said they would love to play with Brent again but not with Mary. A very shitty move if you ask me and Mary (who is new to the lifestyle) has had her self esteem smashed. Its now understandable why she was self medicating.

Brent however seems to be non plussed and actually flattered by the proposal but has completely missed how devastated his wife is.

We assure them that it is a) a dick move and b) don't worry they will be ok with us.

Given that Mary doesn't want any more drinks we move on to the bedroom. My wife continues to eye roll me but I guess we're committed to following through as withdrawing would be again devastating to Mary and yes, they are a lovely couple.

Upstairs it's a bit nervous but we all warm up and swap partners and it all seems to go well. My wife has a particularly great time as Brent gives her a great seeing to and I'm enjoying the show.

Mary though is more reserved. She's very passive and doesn't want to give oral and is still lethargic from her medication and admits she doesn't like to give blow jobs. So yeah im like going at it, she's OK and consenting, but is pretty much just along for the ride....

I finish ultimately and continue to watch Brent and my wife and my wife taps out and needs a break. Good small talk ensues and soon us guys are getting second winds and my wife is keen to make Brent cum.

Then "mid shag", Mary says to him, don't cum, save it for her... I can see my wife going WTF and soon we have swapped back to our own partners... and Mary gives Brent a blow job (?!) to get him back in the game and he fucks his wife to completion.

I of course fuck my lovely and now cranky on the inside wife and I cum again and now we're done... and wrap up and head our separate ways.

End result... wife was very happy with Brent and now understands how that mysterious other couple didn't want to play with Mary who basically turned a good night shit with her edibles, lack of self esteem and lack of enthusiasm. Brent however was a great ride and my wife is "bah, why can't we find a couple where both people are good "

And finally how do we proceed? Ghost them? Tell the truth on how it felt or, as my wife has suggested, play with them in a group / club scene and not on a couple date.