When I started to get interested in sharing my wife, I was never interested in myself sleeping with another woman. When I first mentioned the Hotwife lifestyle to my wife, her first suspicion was that I wanted her to sleep with somebody else, so I would have an excuse to sleep with other women. It took me a significant amount of convincing to make her understand that my interest in this LS was purely about seeing her have a good time, and not at all about me sleeping with other women. I was not lying when I convinced her of that. I really don’t have much desire to sleep with somebody other than my wife.

She stated several times before she became a hot wife that she would never be OK with me sleeping with another woman. Even after she fucked another guy for the first time and was texting and trading pictures with some other potential guys, she turned to me at one point and said “just so you know, I will never be OK with you talking to other women the way I am talking to these guys. It would hurt me too much.“

I reassured her that is not what I wanted to do anyway. I was being truthful when I said, I don’t want to sleep with other women. I have said if she was OK with it, that it might be fun to try, but even if it was an option, I don’t know if I would have any desire to try it.

I am wondering if there are any other couples out there that started off like this and then transitioned into full swap situations? How did it go?

Now that we are a few months into this and she has had several encounters where I shared her with another guy, She has decided that she would like to try a full swap and has found a potential couple and wants to meet them. I really don’t have the desire to do this. I am so uninterested in it that I am not even sure I would be able to get a boner with somebody other than my wife. I think I would be too concerned about how she was feeling and making sure she wasn’t having a bad reaction to it. But at the same time, I want to try it if she would enjoy it. She has found a local couple that wants to meet us. I’m dragging my feet. When I think about meeting them I start to run into my own mental gymnastics and get some bad anxiety. I’m just an average 45 year old guy. Dad-bod, hair is falling out, average sized dick with mediocre stamina. Mostly view myself as being a disappointment to anyone in this LS other than my wife because I’m not a “bull”. I don’t have a huge dick, and I don’t have incredible stamina or short recovery times. I view myself as a letdown in a full swap because the woman probably isn’t going get what she wants out of me, and her husband is probably going to feel letdown because he’s excited to see his wife having great sex with another guy.

I just don’t think I’m “that guy”, I’m not really that excited to try it, and I doubt I’m going to get it up if I’m just not that into it.

Need some advice from the more experienced people here. How do I handle this? I want to try it for my wife, and it could be fun if it works out the way she envisions it. But I’m just not that excited by it and I know that going into it with the wrong mindset is a guaranteed failure. Are boner pills the answer, or do I just bail out and say I don’t want to do it?