About 2 years ago, my wife brought up the idea of swinging (this was a fantasy of mine I never told her about) so we talked about it a lot, we learned a lot about each other, and we eventually had some amazing sexual experiences together (full swaps, MFMs, an FFM, and I’ve been the bull for another couple). Although we’ve had great times and have connected much more on a deeper level, I feel like we don’t see eye to eye with one thing and I’m not sure how to proceed. It would be awesome to get both men and women’s perspectives on this.

I absolutely love it when she’s texting and flirting with someone new and I love it even more when I get to share her with other men. I see what it does to her confidence and seeing her enjoy it makes the whole experience even hotter. While we’ve had MFMs and fantasized together about sending her out for a night with other guys on her own, she’s more hesitant to engage in the same kind of willingness for me to be able to do the same with another woman.

For a while, we were both okay with the idea of either of us hooking up with someone else if a scenario presented itself, but this changed after I went to be a bull for another couple. We talked after it happened and she said she felt betrayed in a way and felt emotionally distant for a day or two after it happened. She knows the couple (we’ve full swapped with them), but she still doesn’t like me going out in my own, even though I would be alright with her going solo. Now the talk of solo fun has diminished and she gets irritated if I mention it, whereas it was something we would normally talk about before.

I want to be explicitly clear that my wife and I are absolute best friends, teammates, and life partners. There is no one on Earth that could ever replace her and I am extremely fortunate to have her both as my wife and the mother of my children. If I have to live with the current circumstances I am fine with that, but I’m wondering if anyone has run through this happening and if there was a path to where the significant other became more open and felt safe letting their spouse play on their own.

*Last but not least, I dealt with mixed emotions as we started in the lifestyle and I saw her fucking and enjoying other men. I analyzed those insecurities and feelings and overcame them quickly. Now I love it and crave it more than ever. Is it acceptable for me to think she could do the same or should I just leave things alone and continue with her current comfortability level with things?

I sincerely appreciate any and all advice, so thank you in advance!