So, we've been part of the community for a couple of years, and now we're thinking it's time to pay it forward. We've soaked up a ton of wisdom from other couples' experiences and the advice of those who've been around the block. So, it's our turn to share and help out.

Feel free to reach out with any questions!

Okay, let's do the intro: We're a 31-year-old couple, been at this for about four years. Both of us work in fields where you gotta be kinda careful, but that hasn't stopped us from having a good time. We jumped into the scene right before COVID hit, which complicated things. Our advice? Do what feels right while maintaining thoughtful consideration, especially on the internet!

Now, the whole decision to dive into this lifestyle? It came from really getting to know each other on all sorts of levels. We'd been together for two years, and he had more experience in partners, places, and toys than she did, but she had all the imagination! After about a year into the relationship, things started heating up. We started buying toys, trying stuff in different places, and, most importantly, she began opening up about her naughty fantasies.

But you know, fantasies can only get you so far. So, when the idea of involving "more people" came up again and again, we had a serious chat that ended with a "why not." And that's how our journey began.

We acknowledged that at any point, if one of us wanted to step back, it would be okay. Yet, we believed that trying and potentially disliking the experience was preferable to not trying.

We got things started on Reddit, using our trusty throwaway that never got tossed aside, u/dutch-e-throwaway. Shoutout to amazing Redditors like u/sexwithfun for the tons of help. Now, fast-forward a bit. We stumbled upon a couple on a slightly sketchy website, and as we got into chatting, it just clicked. By pure accident (we gave them a heads-up to prevent this in the future), she responded with her private email. This unexpected move allowed us to 100% confirm that these people were real. Now, we were ready to take the plunge.

After the first lockdown, we ended up driving to their place, and we were chatting the whole way there. Just, checking on each other, and enjoying this phase! _ always keep talking!_ Nerves were definitely in the air (and still are to this day – it's all part of the fun). This couple turned out to be incredible—loving, caring, and super understanding, especially since it was our first time. We kicked things off with a drink, started a truth-or-dare game, and let the tension build up until we ditched the game altogether and just had a good laugh, brainstorming about what we could do next.

Thanks to COVID, meeting up with them again never happened, although we'd love to. Instead, we've crossed paths with new couples. If you're considering the online route, we'd recommend Feeld/SDC for the Netherlands. We've also heard off (and are planning) to visit some clubs on a "youngster"-evening.

Honestly, it's been challenging. Getting four people to all click and align schedules is no small feat. Initially, we took rejection a bit personally, but these days, the only sting comes when we've invested a ton of time, and then things fall through—usually because of delays in communication among everyone involved. Ghosting is especially painful. We just give people a heads-up when we either don't match or when life gets in the way for a while. Again, always keep talking!

Now, we hope this inspires people to step out and enjoy themselves. Since our first experience, we've had our fair share of purely enjoyable dates, but there have been some odd ones too. Take, for instance, a couple who failed (!?) to mention it was their first time. Throughout the whole encounter, they hardly communicated with each other, which led to some really strange behavior. It was our first time hosting, and let me tell you, that was quite an experience (maybe another story on how to host).

Feel free to ask us anything!

Edit~ spelling