I (F) have been in relationship for 1.5 years with a very respectful and considerate guy who moved to this country 8 years ago. We have quite an age gap, so I'm sure that has something to do w the issue. He's very mature for early 30s.

We are not exclusive. We don't live together. We spend every other weekend together, since the day we met.

He's not had any serious romantic relationships. This is his first. He struggles to meet women/date. I have multiple romantic relationships (solo poly) since my divorce.

I want him to have more good experiences. Even if I'm not there.

After the first few months of the relationship, I noticed he did not compliment me & wasn't affectionate verbally.

A few more months, & I noticed that it had been months since he went down on me. For months I thought I tasted/smelled bad. (Not the issue)

I communicated gently that those are two needs that I have and the lack thereof leaves me feeling like I'm not attractive to him. Instead of saying "oh I'm so sorry, I want you to know I think you're beautiful " he said those things just were not comfortable for him to do. He doesn't like to give oral. Or compliments.

And I had to cajole it out of him that he does think I'm attractive. I liked him a lot so I thought I could maintain the relationship without. Fast forward a few more months, no change.

I was in the lifestyle in a previous relationship. And love group stuff and loved seeing him w other women in the few FFMs we had.

We met a couple from the same state in the country he is from. We have been chatting with this couple, and it seems we are compatible. He really likes the wife.

The M & G is tomorrow night. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks that if I observe him doing those things to her that I have been asking for, I will feel hurt and resentful. I'm sure I'm not the first one in this situation.

So... of course I am going to ask we not meet them until we work this issue out.

I guess I'm just looking for some validation. Those are both big issues, and they would be to anyone, I'm not just being too needy, or masking jealousy/insecurity by canceling?