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How do you tell people you're not attracted to them physically?
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TLDR: How do you tell other couples or singles you don't find them physically attractive?

My husband & I met a couple on an app and we chatted with them for a bit then decided to meet in person just to talk more.

When we met in person, my husband was not really attracted to the female. (She didn't look completely different than her photos but there was certainly a significant difference.)

We went through with the meeting as it was only just to chat anyway.

The guy asked my husband if he found the female attractive and my husband just said yes even though he didn't.

The meeting ended and that was our last time talking to them, we did end up ghosting them afterwards which we 100% felt shitty about but just didn't have the guts to tell them the truth.

How do you go about telling another couple or person you're not attracted to them without sounding harsh or shallow?

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Basically, my husband was just not physically attracted to her once we all met in person.

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The problem is if you do the generic "we aren't feeling it" or "we are gonna pass" they start asking why. And some won't leave it alone and get mad.

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That's pretty much what happened too. It seems harsh but looks are an important part in all this for most, if not all people. I get you want to look your best in photos but you should look better in person, not worse 😒

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It sounds a bit harsh but how would you know you won't be turned off because of how they look during sex?

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That seems pretty reasonable. It was tough in the moment since the guy asked my husband if he found her attractive in person, during the meeting so he didn't know how to say he didn't right then and there

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Maybe not for you and that's great but it was for us at the moment which is why I'm posting here.

Been there. We had a girl show up with a missing tooth and 20 weight difference. We still enjoyed their company and had a drink with them but when they hit us up the next day, I just said that we had a great time but just didn’t have a four way connection. Direct but kind works most of the time. We’ve only had one couple get their panties in a bunch over it but most are cool with keeping it simple but direct.

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1 year ago