I’m a single woman who has recently started attending couples only play parties with a male friend, we don’t have sex together, usually just swap or have threesomes. I’m not really enjoying this new dynamic or finding my feet with couples and wondering if I’m missing something and should stick with the nights with extra single men.

I’ve mostly visited sex clubs with both single men and couples and it’s always been easy to find men I’m open to playing with, they approach me, I might make eye contact or say hello and that’s a sign I’m interested or a partner I go with initiates.

It’s new going to couples only play parties and particularly going with someone who doesn’t start the night by having sex with me. He easily finds couples and women to play with whilst I am finding myself standing alone awkward and unsure how to initiate with couples already going for it or two sets of couples playing.

What is the best way to jump in or express interest or is it always going to be a weird imposition? I don’t want to tap someone on the shoulder or shout excuse me and introduce myself between their grunts!

Some men are approaching me but I’m only interested in about 20% of the room. I’m also finding that some couples don’t want to have sex with me rather just have me as an accessory to their play or when a few men are interested in playing with me but their partners prevent them for various reasons and they have to accede to their partners wishes. Sometimes I have been fortunate to have amazing experiences where everyone is swapping and it’s been wild fun but I’ve now had two disappointing nights out with limited sex.

It seems like a lot of couples like to chit chat before sex and want the opportunity to get to know each other on the dance floor or bar first and some are prearranging meets from various apps and then getting it on at a club or party.

I have no problem approaching people who aren’t playing but I like to see the full package before engaging in conversation so as not to waste anyone’s time. It feels rather rude to interrupt people intensely going for it. Is there any way to make this interruption more sexy and less awkward or to make it easier to convey my interest to couples already having fun?

Thanks