We’ve been in the LS for about 4 months now, and frequent clubs about 2 times a month. We both understand that women get more attention then men at these clubs, but I get A LOT of attention. This sounds so full of myself but I promise it’s not.. I don’t even notice, I don’t really care, I just want to have a good time with my partner, but my husband always mentions that I turn heads, people compliment either directly to me or to my husband, I get it though, it’s part of the whole LS thing. I am also an extrovert, and I have ADHD, so I make strong connections quickly and get distracted/bored easily.

When we meet and want to play with single guys often it’s with men younger, and whom I find attractive. Husband enjoys watching me have fun and he joins in and gets priority positions with me.

When we play with couples or groups my husband often finds himself with women he is not attracted to. I think he tries but eventually has performance issues because he can’t get into it. Often this means we stop play all together, we get a drink and have a reset. More attractive women we find ourselves with focus on me, while I try and navigate my husband into play; however the majority of women that really get into him are the ones he does not find physically attractive.

I’ve asked him to start initiating play with couples/singles he finds attractive and I can step back a little and let him lead, but he finds this incredibly hard and I don’t want to put pressure on him. I also don’t want him to be pushed out of play or ignored however I get so adhd distracted sometimes it’s hard to be in the moment but also always making sure he’s doing ok. (He is always my priority but my head is fucked sometimes with the over stimulation) Sometimes when I ask if he is ok he will say he is, but later say he didn’t want me to stop as I was enjoying myself.

I think my husband is hot AF, but I need to need to know how to make him centre of attention for a change, or help boost his self esteem and confidence to approach women and other couples.