So wife and I are just getting started in the lifestyle. It started out just wanting to bring in a guy and after a couple I brought up couples. The only thing she focused on was that a female would be added and (because she bi-curious and we had talked about her trying it out before) she was like "well idk if I'm ready to be trying a female" and I was pointing out that it wouldn't be her trying the female it would be me ect. Any time I try to have a discussion on it she doesn't sound into it and when she says yes it comes with a "if I'm in the mood" or "if we vibe" well no shit Sherlock. If we go to a place we know there's lifestyle couples (where if we are going you should already be in the mood) obviously the vibe has to be right(which we have had discussion on with whenever we added a guy to the group so obvious thing needed). I just feel like she has no plan to allow another woman to join, she only wants to be center of attention.
Advice?
Well, you started it off just wanting a guy and then changed down the line. I always advise making it known that one day you will want another woman as well. Right now, she is getting what she wants, which is to play with other men while not having to share you.
Itβs ok that your preferences have changed. But if you want to change the dynamic, you need to say that you want to change it or you close the relationship. As long as you continue with just other guys, she has no reason to allow in other women.
Don't let anyone run your show
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