Hey guys we are 28f 40m couple that has had a little experience in the lifestyle but we want to find a consistent couple or single to play with. We have found that to be almost impossible. Has anyone found a consistent play partner(s). The vetting and getting to know people is exhausting in our opinions. Let's discuss.
You won't believe me at this moment, but you'll remember this later.
You cannot have fantastic, and repeated sex with someone without eventually developing feelings. The entire thing is intoxicating.
Swinging turns into accidental polyamory. It's really fun, until one of the four of you wants to end things. These situations explode like a nuclear bomb.
Swingers should be swingers. Poly people should be poly. Swingers shouldn't become poly by accident.
I've owned a swinger club for 8 years, and we've had dozens of divorces that have all begun this very way. I've stopped writing about it because newbies are unable to realizing this. You cannot STOP yourself from falling in love. It's not something we humans can control.
We are not disagreeing, and don't worry, I don't argue on the internet. LOL
There are exceptions. And its certainly easier to not fall in love when you're fucking three men instead of one. Or three women instead of one.
When couple A is exclusive with Couple B, and there is constant texting, great sex, etc., feelings are almost certainly going to develop. Unless everyone involved is a sociopath.
Four couples sounds like a sure fire way to avoid this, to be honest. I was talking about exclusivity.
I have two regulars. They're both younger and a lot of fun. They get along well with my husband and well, I approve of the rest ;-)
The real trick was to narrow the criteria to exactly that. Respectful of me and able to please while at the same time playing nice with him and respecting that it's his house and his playground they're in.
I think people get super picky when it isn't necessary. But then, we weren't looking to make best friends either, just people we like enough to see again for a play date.
Iām not sure what you being a woman has to do with anythingā¦ Iād have the same sentiment regardless of your gender. I didnāt tell you that you āhadā to do anything, I just asked a question. But being nice to people is a choice.
Have a wonderful day. Lol
We got lucky and found our āregularā couple about a year into looking. Like a lot of other commenters have touched on, itās a numbers game. Chat it up with many, play with a few. And even then it can be one and done sometimes if the sexual connection doesnāt match the conversational connection. Weāre picky with who weāll play with, even pickier about who we want to play multiple times with!
Good luck!
Weāve played with one couple so far and it was fine and weāre scheduled tentatively to play again, but we fully intend to find and play with more folks. There will be no one. We already have each other long term. The rest of yāall are for funsies.
Now if we happen to hit it off super well with another couple and things turn into deep, true, come to vanilla events with us friendship thatās really cool too. Itās not a priority though since we do other things to make friends.
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 1 year ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/Swingers/co...
Why are so many of your comments so judge mental? One of the cool things about the lifestyle is that people can kinda make it what they want it and tailor it to their particular relationship.
Your view isnāt always going to align with theirs and thatās fine. But you could probably find a nicer way to say it. š¤·š»āāļø