My wife 34 and I 34 have been together for 14 years and have been in the lifestyle in some form for about 14 months now.

My wife is an absolute smoke show, 5,7 120 with the most beautiful smile in the world, but we had a serious growing problem that we needed to address. We had a lot of sexual disconnect for a long period of time because she was very sheltered and conservative in her values as she went to catholic school. I’d typically want to get it in a bit more than what she wanted to like I’m sure it is in a lot of relationships but when she would drink she would turn into such an animal and really show her true sexual passion, something she couldn’t do at all when she wasn’t drinking along with showing very little interest in sex all together.

Things started getting to a point where I was feeling really bad about my confidence and started developing PE, something I never dealt with before. I came on Reddit and went down wormhole after wormhole of the Hotwife & swinger LS’s, and decided maybe the Hotwife route was a good way to help her feel more sexy and confident, I read post after post of people saying the LS helped their sexual relationship so much more afterwards. So I brought it up almost 2 years ago and it was always a no until things got so bad with us we were on the brink of separation due to our disconnect in the bedroom.

She said yes to trying it and we ended up just going to a local LS club and met a couple and ended up going to an after party at their place and my wife got fucked while I got a Bj from his wife. We since then have met with 4 single guys that she’s been with, and have met probably 10-15 couples that we’ve gone out with and there’s been an issue almost every single time, we’ve met a handful of couples that were a really good time when we went out with them but the issues varied from me now not being able to get hard in the first 2 couples fun because I’m too concerned for her and if she’s alright or in other circumstances her not liking the guy and me liking the girl or vice versa and it just not working out cause no one’s taking one for the team around here. Since we’ve been doing this our life and overall relationship has gotten better in so many ways though, she’s way more sexual, feels tremendously more confident in every way about her self, I no longer deal with PE and it’s really taken us to a whole new level of love for one another.

Our last date which was our 4th date we had gone back to they’re place after dinner and while me and the other wife were making out and getting handsy I had no issue getting hard but my wife wasn’t feeling the other husband so we ended the night. Afterwards she was telling me how she wanted to rip this girls legs off of me and didn’t like seeing that although she’s seen me getting a BJ from 3 girls and face deep in another woman and had absolutely no issue, this was odd and I didn’t know how to feel about the situation.

But now we’ve got another predicament. A couple weeks ago we met up with a single guy for drinks at a bar and I randomly started chatting up a single girl at the bar who had a puppy with her..I ended up giving her my number with my wife having no issue with it at the time, she said if the girl was to reach out and I told her the situation and she was fine with it we’d go from there, Well that all happened and now my wife isn’t feeling the situation. After her being with 4 single guys and 2 guys from a couple situation and me not having had full intercourse once in any of those situations I’ve gotten to the point of being over the couples dynamic because there always seems to be an issue, I feel kinda over this being so one sided. She doesn’t like seeing me with another girl, like that doesn’t get her going but if she’s actually into the other guy she feels like she can be ok but it’s been as close to impossible as it could for us to find that. My wife has gone out on probably 6 dates with guys and every time she’s been with a single guy sexually I’ve been present. I feel like if there’s a single girl that’s down and knows my situation why shouldn’t I be able to go out with her and have some fun like what she’s done to an extent..I’ve seen plenty of couples do it separately and together in combination and I figure that’s a good next step considering she doesn’t like to see it..idk how to feel about it, it really makes me contemplate shutting it all down and just going back to monogamy cause I’m starting to feel like a real cuck. Any helpful advice is appreciated.