Here’s the problem statement: we’re not getting a lot of replies to messages.

I know the advice is “get offline and go meet people in person.” We’ve been to the clubs a few times, but our club environment isn’t awesome for meeting new people as a lot of people we find attractive came with others. My wife is quite introverted in a large group setting, but comes out of her shell a lot 1:1 (or 2:2 as if were :) ). We’re going to hit some other events but schedules slow it down. So also trying to make MF connections on the sites with local couples.

I feel confident that if we could arrange a few cocktail dates with folks we’d be more successful in the LS. But it’s proving difficult to get dates scheduled.

At the moment our profiles are vanilla pictures of us with faces blurred. I don’t think we’re unattractive although both of us could stand to lose 10-15 lbs. I’d describe us as very typical 40 something’s with kids. I try to message folks within a reasonable deviation of our body types (up and down)

I feel like the written details on our profile are very on par with others.

But I’m struggling to figure out why folks aren’t responding to messages. Maybe it’s the lack of sexy pics showing my wife off? They’ll often view our profile and then nada. She’s not hesitant to post those, we just haven’t really prioritized taking any.

I’m also very direct in initial messages “hey, nice profile, want to talk?”. I try to pull out a detail or two from their profiles that grabbed our attention, or ask them a better question. What is your approach to a cold message?