Hi there! First time post here, been lurking for a while.

Tldr: is there anyone here that is a reciprosexual that is willing to share how they make the lifestyle work for them?

Myself (34M) and my fiance (30F) have been dabbling in the lifestyle since January. We've had plenty of experiences so far (some good, some not so much) but we have run into a snag recently and it's been really messing with my emotional state.

I quickly had the realization once we started in the lifestyle that I'm a reciprosexual. Normally this isn't a problem because me and my fiance are fine, I know her cues and tells when she's in the mood, but when it comes to playing with other couples I don't have that same level and kinda just withdraw unless I straight up get told that the other person wants to play with me.

This became a huge issue over this weekend as we attended a play party and I just kind of was ignored beyond one person who I had been talking to the week before that had told me she was looking to play with me specifically. It's really been messing with my head and thinking this might not be for me because of my need to confirm sexual attraction before I can do anything. It doesn't help I'm super introverted as well.

Is there anyone else that has this struggle? How do you navigate the lifestyle when it seems like you get pushed out because you can't just ask someone to play at a club or party because you need them to tell you they want to?