So, we went to our first club tonight. Had a great time for about 95% of it. Unfortunately, that remaining 5% was enough to make us leave earlier than we wanted to.

We went as a group of 8 people (4 couples including us). One couple we are already pretty close with and have played before. The remainder were people we hadn’t met, but were communicating online for the last few weeks.

Overall, everything was great. We were all getting along and there was plenty of mutual attraction and chemistry. It was clear that Tay (the lady half of our couple) was the favorite of the guys, which is relevant for this story.

We started off going to the play area with one of the other couples and have a full swap. Normally, Zane (our male half) takes his time to orgasm, but we figured there was plenty of time in the night that he didn’t feel the need to hold off. So he came in about 15 minutes. Meanwhile, Tay was with the other guy for a good 35 minutes going pretty hard the whole way through and loving every minute of it.

After they finished, we moved to a bed on the other end of the play area where the rest of our group was playing. As soon as we get there, one of the other couples reaches for Tay. We play as a group for about 15 mins with mostly oral while the two women give each other plenty of attention and the two guys provide support as needed. Afterwards, full swap again.

Zane and their female half go for about 15 minutes before another girl jumps in. So he was back and forth with them, sometimes having sex and sometimes providing hand and oral support. In the meantime, Tay is going hard with the other guy for another half hour or so.

However, at the same time the other woman joined Zane, her male half approached Tay while she was on her back in a very vulnerable position. He just started smacking his penis on her face, which she never consented to or agreed to. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t something she enjoyed either. And it took her out of the moment she was having. In such a vulnerable position, she didn’t know how to say no and Zane didn’t realize it was non-consensual because he was distracted by the other woman that had just joined him. Normally we’re pretty in tune with what’s going on with each other, but can’t be 100% all the time in that regard.

Tay still very much enjoyed herself, but by the time she was done with him, she had been going for almost an hour and a half straight without a break. Unlike the other ladies of the group who were able to take a few minutes of break every so often.

We laid on the bed planning on taking a breather and watch the room from our corner. But this same guy walks over, Tay says she’s taking a break, but he grabs her hand and puts it on his penis to get her to stroke it. He completely ignored the fact that she said she needed a break. So she decides to get up and leave the play area.

As she picks up her stuff and starts walking to exit the play area, one of the other guys she hadn’t even consented to play with yet, reaches out to stop her. He’s in the middle of fucking his wife when he does this, so Tay says she’s taking a break, but bends over to give him a quick kiss. Then he reaches down and puts his finger inside her.

At this point she is pissed (and rightfully so) and feels a bit used that one guy just assumed she’d be okay with something she wasn’t and two guys just ignore her when she said she was taking a break. So we left.

On the one hand, the guy who slapped her face with his dick was the guy she had sex with at the beginning. So she thinks maybe there was implied consent. But Zane thinks that shouldn’t make a difference. Just because he had sex with her doesn’t mean he’s allowed to treat her as an object of his desire rather than a meaningful partner, no matter how temporary the arrangement.

We would like to resolve things with these guys in the group and set some boundaries because there is hope that we can grow this group. We think having some specific, codified rules of play for all those who join the group will help things going forward, but there’s never a guarantee.

In instances like this, we aren’t quite sure how Tay could have effectively said no. When nearing orgasm while on her back or when she’s trying to take a break and relax but others ignore her when she says she’s taking a break.

To be clear, we don’t think these instances were intentional. Had she not gone so hard for an hour, none of it would have been a big deal and she’d have been fine. But the fact that they happened while she was vulnerable and worn out made it difficult to just go with it the way she normally would. Could use some advice on how to effectively communicate and politely, but firmly say no in these types of situations.