So, we (late 40s MF) have dabbled in the LS. Our only playtime—two soft swaps—was at a club. The wife shared that she doesn’t want that experience again. She felt gross afterwards. She thinks she would rather play with partners she gets to know first. She doesn’t want to fuck strangers. But this has challenges.

1. She is responsive, so she doesn’t like the idea of meeting other couples for drinks or dinner, knowing they expect sex. The immersive nature of the club helped, because she responded to watching others having sex.
2. Dating can be frustrating trying to find the elusive four way connection.
3. She’s worried about people locally discovering us. She does contract work for a major brand, so she worries about it affecting her career.
4. She’s curious about us having hall passes instead, to simplify dating/finding matches. she also could do this easily while traveling for work. Not my first choice as I enjoy compersion.

I wondered if anyone else had a similar conflicting style preferences and whether you worked out a solution that worked for both parties. She said she is open to trying meeting with couples, but had concerns it may be challenging.