My partner and I (both in our early 20s) have been together for over three years and have just recently started pursuing a MFM threesome. It's been a fantasy of mine to share my SO with another man for a long time, so these past couple of weeks have been full of excitement as well as a bunch of other emotions (mostly positive, thankfully).

Last night we met up with our prospective third for the first time after weeks of chatting online and exchanging pics just to have a few drinks and chat. The guy is totally ripped and more 'well-endowed' than me, so I definitely felt a tinge of jealousy seeing the googly eyes between him and my gf. Luckily, the jealousy was overshadowed by excitement and arousal so all three of us actually had a really fun time.

At the end of the night we were about to say goodbye when I invited our third to walk us to our car. When we reached the car, I suggested to our third that he give my gf a kiss goodnight, which he happily obliged. They made out pretty passionately for what felt like a really long time (it was probably around 15 seconds, realistically) and then he walked back to the bar. I had such an intense array of emotions surging through me and really didn't know what to make of the situation except that I was extremely turned on. We rushed home and had possibly the best sex we've ever had, even despite me having trouble getting it up from the combination of alcohol and emotional excitement. She was absolutely ravenous in a way I've never seen, doing and saying things I never expected out of her.

Fast-forward to today; I'm now reflecting soberly on the night and making sure I'm feeling comfortable enough to proceed with our plan. We have tomorrow booked as the big night and I'm honestly excited more than anything. Here are the main points that have me feeling a little anxious; it would be nice to just hear how normal or healthy these thoughts/feelings are from people with experience.

First, I'm a little bit self-conscious about the fact that my SO is probably more physically attracted to this guy than me. Rationally, I know that's kind of silly because I trust her deeply and know that she loves me, but there is some part of me that feels in competition with him. On the other hand, the whole time we were having sex last night, I was fantasizing that she was thinking of him instead of me, so I guess this kind of jealousy is kind of a kink for me. I just can't help but feel a tad inadequate when I think about how much crazier she was in bed after getting kissed by him, even though i rationally don't see it that way.

Second, I'm a little nervous about the two of them communicating privately. Again, rationally I don't think it's an issue and I'm trying not to act on my impulse to peak over her shoulder constantly when she's texting. It's just that when we started this process, we only communicated with prospective thirds via the dating app we were using which was linked to both of our phones, so I got notifications whenever she was chatting with guys. Last night, however, our third asked for my gf's number, and she gave it to him. I told her I was fine with it (and I think I really am), but part of me feels anxious that their conversations could become more and more romantic if I'm not in the picture. I trust my SO and don't actually think she'd catch feelings for this guy or try to meet up without me, but I just feel like I've given up some of my control over the situation and I don't know exactly how to feel about it.

Okay, sorry about this huge rant. I just have no friends who are into this kind of thing and really wanted some guidance. Is it normal and healthy that I'm having these thoughts? Are they indicative of me not being cut out for this kind of thing? Are any of my worries well-founded or am I right to be suppressing them and not acting on them? Also, general first-time-MFM tips would be much appreciated :)

Also, I just want to emphasize that I'm mainly feeling really good about the situation. I'm really not the jealous type and I'm pretty certain that I want to take this adventure as far as it goes. I'm just trying to take some personal inventory and hear some feedback. Thanks!