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So me(F) and my husband (M) have been having threesomes with his friend (M) , weāve had 2 in the last month and they both went great. We went over our basic ground rules the first night just to make sure we were all on the same page about what was about to happen and we all agreed on our boundaries for that night.
As things progress we all want to talk more in depth about rules and boundaries, what we will compromise on, and also what we all want from this experience.
Can anyone share some rules that you and your partner or partners have? Weāre new to this lifestyle and donāt exactly know of all the bases to touch on with my husbands friend. I know one of the topic we have to cover is āis this strictly sex, maybe a relationship, or friends and loversā.
TIA!
My hubby and I started out swinging over 9 years ago and our rules that have proven effective for us are as follows: 1. Open and honest communication at all times between hubby and wife. 2. At the first sign of emotional feelings outside of the normal sexual connection we stop that situation. 3. Never blur the line between vanilla and lifestyle friends. Not saying that lifestyle friends can't become wonderful friends, most do, I'm saying vanilla friends are off limits. 4. Nobody takes one for the team! 5. Trust your instincts, avoid drama at all costs. 6. Make friends, lifestyle playmates should click with us on more than a physical level.
For us, kissing is ok, no pain, focus on pleasing the other person instead of focusing on your pleasure. Definitely have a safe word. Anal is hit or miss, depending on willingness (we are ok with it if the other man isn't too big). Current testing is a must. Each person can decide how they want to cum, but only if the other person agrees (we're pretty much ok with anywhere) Condoms are required for anal, optional for anything else. My wife and I are bisexual, but it's ok if the other people aren't.
Same with us. No slapping (light smack on the ass is ok), choking, stuff like that.
Itās just different to us, something between husband and wife not to be shared, donāt know how to explain it. But itās something both of us have talked about and both agree on.
Like I said, we know this is a limiting factor for us but itās not something weāre willing to compromise on.
Yes, it breaks the rhythm for someone to have to stop and go wash up.
More romantic and not just sexual is very well put. We feel the same, but I couldnāt articulate it that well in my earlier comment!
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My wife and I are soft swap only and considering graduating to full swap, but we have a no kissing the other spouse rule (girl on girl is allowed and encouraged) and it works really well for us.
Our view is that kissing, especially deep, passionate kissing, is something thatās more intimate to us than even sex. Itās just something we keep only for each other. We understand that it limits our potential matches sometimes but thatās our problem to deal with. š¤·š»āāļø
At the end of the day, to each their own!