Here’s our problem! Hoping someone experienced in the lifestyle can help!

We’ve been in the lifestyle (kinda) for about 2-3 years now.

My wife let me do many hard swaps and enjoyed watching me. She pretty much encourages me, and even finds opportunities for me! But, she’s done very soft swaps (jerking or getting eaten out).

She’s reluctant on doing soft or hard swaps and her reasoning is that she feels like she doesn’t see me enough (work) or have a strong enough romantic connection to be with another man

I know this means we need to work on our own relationship, but, has anyone been in the same position? What did you do? Any advice?