TLDR; my BF and I have had no luck with swinging in the YEARS we have tried to meet others and we are both getting frustrated. Not sure if this is a sign or what to do different.

About 2 years ago my BF and I decided we would try swinging with other couples or a unicorn if the sex gods decide to smile upon us. We are in decent shape, chill personalities, and communicate well with ourselves and others. It feels like every time we take one step forward it’s two steps back. We will chat online with someone for a few days to a week and then something always comes up- not verifying, one partner was cheating on the other, one girl was in the middle of a breakup and was NOT taking it well, lying about a significant other altogether, family emergencies, moving, you get the idea. I’m at the point I almost expect it to not work out and can feel myself becoming not trusting someone from the get go. We try to explore other areas when we travel but still no bites.

It’s honestly exhausting, and even though this is a lifestyle we’ve been SO excited to get started on for so long I’m just not sure what to do. It seems like everyone else has experience and sometimes we get judged for being newbies. Is it like this for everyone? Am I doing something wrong? Any advice here appreciated.