Hello, fellow swingers of Reddit,

My girlfriend and I have found ourselves navigating a particularly curious situation within our swinging encounters. As someone very well endowed and primarily a service top, my role typically offers me a plethora of possibilities. However, a considerable majority of our interactions - around 3/4 - seem to gravitate towards a hotwife dynamic or scenarios where the other male participant adopts a somewhat restrained role. Often, their involvement extends merely to brief oral indulgence, followed by a hasty retreat as my girlfriend and I engage in more substantial play with their female partner.

This asymmetric dynamic, though exciting in its own ways, deviates from our mutual aspiration for shared, equitable pleasure. Our understanding of a perfect encounter encompasses the opportunity for my girlfriend to indulge in other men just as I enjoy the company of other women.

This recurring pattern raises the question: is this a commonplace occurrence within the swinging community? If so, how have you negotiated such situations to achieve a satisfying balance? We are seeking capable partners who embody the same enthusiasm for reciprocal play as we do, and who can match our level of engagement.

We would greatly appreciate your insights, strategies, or any tools you've found useful in ensuring that intentions and expectations align before group play commences.

Thank you for your collective wisdom!