Need some advice so I apologize for the long post.

The Fiancée and myself have discussed adding a third (F). We are in our thirties and prior to dating she tried going on dates with other females. Unfortunately none played out and she became discouraged. She’s shy outside the bedroom and an introvert. We’re both switches in the bdsm lifestyle. So after we got engaged I said I’d love to find her a female to play with/play with us and she was still interested in her FF experience. We often talk about it during sex and both of us get excited.

A few months ago while on a discord group for local gaming I met up with a few people at a gaming store semi locally. We all hit it off but the one female in the group more than others. She messaged me on discord and straight out said she had a weird feeling we were compatible and that I was into bdsm. I explained I was engaged and she said she was married (dead marriage) but it was an open one. I joking said we were only looking for a F to join us potentially. Fast forward to now, I consider her a good friend from the hobby and have learned that she’s 99% compatible for my us. Everything down to the pepperoni and pineapple pizza we enjoy. I know I walked a fine line between my hobby but also semi vetting someone Now I have to find a safe way to explain to my fiancé I may have found someone that’s a possibly match for us? Lastly her and I have never had sex, or sexted. It was strictly about our likes/limits, previous experiences and future goals.